Halloween Flicks: The Top 10
Eva Milne shares with us what she likes to put on at Halloween!
Think you’re brave? Horror movies notoriously weed out
the pussys from the tough guys – and with Halloween on
your doorstep, it’s only a matter of time (and screams...)
before you find out which of your kin still sleep with the
light on. I’ve callously compiled a top-10 list of only the
most deeply horrifying, gut-wrenching scary films ever created,
so it’s time to turn off the lights and grab your duvet,
for fear has no mercy in these tales...
10. Silence Of The Lambs (1991)
Exploding with unadulerated psychological terror, comes the semi-true story of the cannibalistic mastermind, Hannibal, as he aids an FBI agent’s search for a serial-killer that skins his victims: “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti” – lovely!
9. Misery (1990)
What do you call a schizophrenic plaid-wearing wifey whose favourite accessory is a butcher’s knife and relishes in breaking men’s legs with a lumberjack’s hammer? A crazy bitch? Close. Kathy Bates is going to categorically crush every fibre of joy in your body. Enjoy.
8. The Descent (2005)
Imagine going out for a casual spot of pot-holing... only to be trapped in a pitch-black, unmapped caving system miles underground, with 500 flesh-eating albino creatures that resemble Gollum for company. Aye, good luck escaping!
7. A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
A severely burned child molesting caretaker with a bladed glove for a hand stalks the condemned teenagers of Springwood in their dreams, and shreds them to ribbons with his talons – you too will feel the scars of those serrated fingers – a defining, but utterly terrifying 80s slasher flick.
6. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Potently horrifying account of what’s gonna kick off when you think it’s a wise idea to get lost in some dark woods that are, incidentally, haunted by the psychopathic Blair Witch – you gon’ die, is what gon’ kick off, kids.
5. Ringu (The Ring) (1998)
What could possibly be scary about a film that rhymes with Pingu? Everything. “Ringu” is a harrowing tale of a cursed video that, if watched, dooms the viewer to meet Sadako – a faceless, contorted hag, who heaves herself out of a well, and out of your television set into your home before paralysing and murdering you. Nice eh?
4. The Omen (1976)
When Robert Thorn discovers his son has died in childbirth, he decides to take another baby home instead. Low and behold, this counterfeit child is actually the son of the devil, ready to bring hellfire to modern civilsation and slaughter everybody in his way – argghh, just look at that baby’s fringe!
3. The Shining (1980)
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”- or, rather, turns Jack Nicholson into the crazed mad axe-murderer determined to slaughter his family into little pieces at an isolated hotel retreat; it’s guts, gore, and an unforgiving psychological nightmare – beware.
2. Paranormal Activity (2007)
Guaranteed to have you shuddering into the foetal position, it’s only the most frightening horror film of recent years: meet Micah and Katie, the senseless couple who decide to attempt to film malicious spirit activity in their home with catastrophic consequences... nightlight, anyone?
1. The Exorcist (1973)
I wonder what happens when the sweetest little girl in the world gets possessed by the devil? Well, after projectile vomiting green whitey all over a priest, this girl actually spins her head 360 degrees while calling Father Merrin a c*nt. Not to mention the brutal (and bloody) masturbation scene involving a crucifix, it’s truly no surprise “The Exorcist” still thrives on as the scariest movie of all time, 40 years later. Don’t say I didn’t warn you...